July sometime or other

There are days when things just stop for me. Out of the blue, things are going swimmingly, the sun shines the birds sing life stretches before me.

And I open my eyes on grey the edges blur things fade become insubstantial I do not fit my body not recognize my fingers on the ends of my hands. I cannot focus my gaze. Sounds have not meaning voices music birds cars passing all the same.

I force myself then into routines make the coffee walk the dog brush the teeth grasping to the edges of my life to hold me keep me from being swept back into the darkness. If I look in a mirror I do not gaze back just chaos roiling behind me waiting as ever for me to fall.

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